My friend. . .

The past few days have been better. I've been biting my fingernails in anxiety (not literally) for the telling of my consequence for my referral. During 4th block I got a note that said I was supposed to go to the Assistant Principal's Office. I knew INSTANTLY what it was for. With my stomach churning, I walked slowly to her office. I stood outside her office feeling so out of place. People kept giving me looks of surprise because they knew I didn't belong there. Finally, I was called into her office. It kind of felt like I was about to be hanged (lol!)! I was nervous enough! The Assistant Principal (Mrs. Morgan) was MUCH nicer than I had anticipated. She discussed my situation calmly, making little jokes in between to lighten the mood. She said, "I'm all about giving people second chances." A beacon of light had been lit. A light of hope! She had me sign my referral and she told my my punishment. She told me it was just a WARNING! All I had to do was bring my other two previous I.D.'s in to her office the next morning and she would let me free!! I was SOO relieved! Mrs. Morgan is OFFICIALLY my FAVORITE Assistant Principal!!

Well, on IM today, me and a friend got in an argument. She said that she hadn't completely forgotten about a mistake that I made a month previous. After a very emotional discussion (with me in tears) she stated that she wasn't mad at me and that she forgave me, but she couldn't forget. She pointed out she didn't think I cared about her enough to miss something important to me for something that meant a lot to her. That hit me hard. I was literally speechless. After that, it seemed like nothing I said to her would convince her that she means the world to me! But I want this friend to know, that I'm trying my hardest to cover the black tracks and rewrite them in white. She needs to know that I love her soooo much and I want our friendship to be full, with no secrets or secret grudges. She needs to know that I'm so sorry for what I did and she needs to forgive and try to forget. I'm not asking for her to forget entirely, but there's nothing I can do about the past. We need to live in the present and put our mistakes behind us and put our trust, friendship, and love in front of us. We HAVE to do that. I need her to know that I understand that she is upset, but I'm trying SOOO hard to make things right. But in order to make things right, I need her to help me. I need her to know that she is my best friend and I'm always going to be there for her. And if she wants me to be there more, she needs to tell me that. She needs to know that I can't read minds, but I'm trying to read the signs. I need her help to strengthen this friendship. I hope she understands this and I hope she feels the same way I do.

*~Kennedy~*